Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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