I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
