And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
