I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
