question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
