bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
