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we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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