I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
They took my balls.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
