I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
