it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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