no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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