The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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