He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
