Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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