We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize