She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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