dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
