I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize