Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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