It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
