i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
