Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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