Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
