Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
