Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
