i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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