I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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