nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
YAS. BRING CRAB.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
