Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
