wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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