He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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