I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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