3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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