I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
