Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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