It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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