I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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