I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
