If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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