I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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