the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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