do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
