Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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