Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
