billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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