remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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