I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
