I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
