he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
