Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
