He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
