No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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