when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
