you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't deserve a penis
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
