I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
