Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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